I’ve been singing this song for a week now!
‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world
I have been waiting 3 years to be able to share those words!!! It all makes sense now! All the wait, all the hurts, all the times I doubted but continued to cry out to the one who was and is faithful even when I pushed my faith aside. As I look back at the last 3 years, and especially the last few months, it is so clear that we were walking down the path that God chose for us.
I cannot share any more until I explain the day before “the call” took place. I found myself full of doubt, frustration, and fear. I chose to express those feelings to our case worker to which she replied with a phone call shortly after. She proceeded to be so very sincere and explained how our agency really has nothing to do with the speed up of referrals. I told her my fear was that we will never adopt and all this emotion and hard work would be for nothing. She prayed with me over the phone and told me she was so happy I was honest with her. Right after I decided to open my bible up randomly. I don’t do this often (I mean looking for surprise verses by randomly opening my bible), but the last few days I really was asking for God to simply speak to me to let me know that he’s got this. So I opened right up to Matthew. Matthew 10:28 and Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. I was quickly brought to my knees with tears. I had surrendered all of my hopes and desires for this adoption before, but this time he was telling me that he heard me; and even if this takes another 2 years, to not give up faith on the one who is always faithful.
Fast forward to the next day. I was sitting in a quiet room while my daughter, Adeline, was in ballet. My phone rang and it said Alabama. I knew it was my agency, but I figured they were just following up from my previous phone call to see how I was doing. It was our Ethiopia director. She asked if I had a moment. I replied yes, and then she told me she had “some news for me!” I immediately broke into the ugly cry and I said “no, you do not!!” She then said the words I have been waiting 3 years to hear; “I have a referral for you.” What?!!! At this point I was shaking and Leslie could tell I was very overwhelmed. She kept telling me to breathe. I finally asked her to tell me about my baby! She wanted Kenton on the line to so I had to hang up without even knowing if it was a boy or girl! I quickly tried to call Kenton but my hands were shaking so bad that I couldn’t make that call for like 30 seconds. All this was at 2:00 and I had 30 minutes left of this dance class. Let me tell you how hard it was to walk back in and act like nothing was going on. I sat there in silence as tears kept rolling down my face.
So the next hour was the slowest hour I’ve encountered in life. EVER! I got Isabel from school 10 minutes early, and Kenton and I decided to meet at his parents house to get on our call with Leslie and Sarah to hear about our child. For the record, driving after receiving that kind of news without knowing details was near to impossible and its a miracle that I did not wreck my car!
Kenton and I met, got the computer set up, phones ready, and watch the clock. Finally, we heard that Leslie was ready. We got on the call and she proceeded to tell us our referral is a 14 month old BABY BOY!! Oh my heart when I heard those words. At that moment, she sent us his profile with the 3 pictures that she had of him. He is BEAUTIFUL! At that point I was so shocked that this was actually happening, and I wasn’t really paying attention. I know. Weird. That night I put his picture on my phone and just stared. And cried. And smiled. And stayed awake pretty much the whole night and the night after. It is very weird how connected I already feel to him from a picture and he has not a clue who I am or how is world is about to change. I get to say “he is my son!” I have studied all three of his pictures so closely now because I always feel like I’m going to find out something new in them, and I don’t want to go an hour without looking at his beautiful face!
I am in love and its with a baby boy! When we started this process, Kenton and I both wanted a girl, but after a couple of years in this process, our hearts had changed and we couldn’t be more thrilled about adding a boy to our family.
What is next?
We have signed and sent in our referral affidavit and now the new PAIR (Pre-Adoption Immigration Review) process begins. This is the orphan investigation that is done by the embassy on our son to make sure everything in his file checks out. I was told this can take anywhere from 10-16 weeks. It also could be shorter or longer. After we clear, we then wait for a court date which could be 6 weeks from our PAIR letter. During this trip we get to finally MEET OUR SON and appear in court. We will be in country for about 7 days after which we will travel home unfortunately without him:( We then wait about 6 more weeks before we can travel again to finally BRING HIM HOME!
Kenton and I cannot begin to explain how happy we are right now! We have been so humbled by all of the love and support that has been shown to us in the last 3 years and we cannot wait to introduce our son to all of you!